Hey, “Lost in the Trees.” We get it. We get it. You’re really cool. You’re a team of anti-establishment-yerba mate-drinking types who play a myriad of unusual instruments in the middle of fields. Good job scoring a ginger for a front man, for crying out loud. We all know that gingers have been on the outs since the dawn of man, which means that they’re about to have their hipster heyday anytime now. Oh and let’s not forget. You’re from NORTH CAROLINA. Cool people from the South are SO unassuming and ironic. What we’re dealing with here is a perfect storm for a hit music factory. I likey.

I’m not sure what I was doing in 1992 that would be considered more important than attempting to get this catastrophe off the air and all evidence of its previous existence totally annihilated. I guess the sixth grade was more distracting than I remember.

I don’t think I’m alone when I say that Taco Bell should burn in hell for this tragically forbidding mark on Cash’s otherwise legitimately cool life. On the bright side if you’re feeling like a total sellout this should ease your pain. There’s nothing you can do that could possibly be worse than poor Johnny selling his soul for a little Taco Bell money.

With all this swinging vampire popularity it was only a matter of time before zombies had their 15 minutes of fame. Oh and look. That time is now. We’ve got “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies,” “The Zombie Survival Guide: Recorded Attacks” and PopCaps new downloadable casual game “Plants and Zombies” in which a team of zombies goes head to head with some plants (what!?). Hell, even up-and-coming musician, Gavin Castleton, has written an album based on a zombie flick.

I can take the mental leap of a pop culture evolution from one dark fictional creature to another, but I think we need to acknowledge the fatal flaw with zombies. Simply stated, there’s no sex in zombie. Zombies are socially awkward and really gross. So, good luck at the box office without that dashing Edward Cullen type. Heh.

What does the future hold in the way of supernatural pop-culture trends? I’m calling this now. You heard it here first. Leprechauns will be the next big thing. That’s right. Leprechauns.

If some hippy artist were to tell me that he’s involved in a public art program that involved covering up Wildposting campaigns in NYC I’d probably be secretly happy deep down in the core of my true being. Socialization thorough art trumps big corporate marketing agenda any day in my book. Even if it means that my industry would have to suffer this one loss of prominent ad space in the country’s #1 media market.

Given this sacrificial sentiment, you can imagine my level of disappointment when this public art project was completed and all the art turns out to be crappy. Like so crappy, that I’d rather look at ads.

Kinda like this.

1. This guy is the best infomercial host EVER.
2. I want a Slap Chop.

After being subjected to that Susan Boyle video numerous times last week I set out on a mission to find another video that strikes that delicate balance between incredibly amazing, yet mind-strickenly annoying.

This is what I came up with. Note how the flash mob hits an all time unbelievable, yet practically unbearable high at about 2:15 when the song turns into a super cool dance mix.

Reflecting on my jaded tendencies for a moment, my first thought when viewing this was, “what brand commissioned this stunt?” As if people wouldn’t just do stuff like this solely for the sake of joyful artistic expression. Thinking about what that might mean forces me to address cynical tendencies that I’m not yet willing to acknowledge may have become a part of my mental development possibly due to the fact that I work in advertising. My therapist will be hearing about this.

Sometimes I watch this the night before a client meeting I watch this and just imagine that we’ll have this kind of effect on the room. Figure the more I watch it the more likely it will happen one day.

Looks like you’ve got it all figured out.

You know that movie “Sliding Doors” staring Gwyneth Paltrow? Gwyneth’s character barely makes a train and this simple action manages to put her life on some grand alternative parallel. She catches her scumbag boyfriend in the act of cheating, cuts her hair, gets totally hot, falls in love with a great guy and has a wonderful life. All because she managed to catch that train. The other parallel life Gwyneth character doesn’t get home in time to catch her cheating boyfriend, keeps her long boring hair and is otherwise forced to endure a pathetic existence.

Since seeing this movie a number of odd years ago I am plagued by a rather consistent form of anxiety regarding my every move and action. Could one false step sent my life spiraling uncontrollably down a doomed trajectory? Shit. Has it already? The agony!

I’m going somewhere with this. Here it is. The first time I was introduced to the Pantaline clothing and accessories line I knew for a fact that I had misstepped somewhere along the way. This should have been my idea. My undertaking. I mean, for crying out loud, they make “Hug Jackets.” Jackets build for hugging. That’s amazing. I swear my brain was built for this stuff, but the world will never know.

So far nothing is available for public sale. I’m not sure it will ever be. That’s a bummer.

Super excited to read “Soul for Sale,” a story about a dude in advertising who is struggling to deal with the fact that he is in advertising. At least I think I’m excited about reading it. I’ve heard people talk about it, but the most substantial info I can find is on this Facebook page.

Let me know if you know anything.

Oh, and if you Google “Soul For Sale” you’ll get a guy who is actually trying to sell his soul on Craigslist. I wonder what a good soul is going for these days. Too bad I sold mine for a Moon Pie when I was 13.