Thanks for sending us your YouTube cover letter. We’re keeping an eye out for your resume. Also, thank you for Rick Rolling us. We love that too. In fact, it’s our favorite part.
Now that you’ve got all the serious credentials stuff out of the way we’d like to make a special request. We want another video with just the dancing. The style and genre of dance are totally up to you.
Shake your moneymaker and show us what you’ve got.
Welcome to the future of Valentine’s Day technology, the Red Tettemer iMate (copyright pending). With this automatic romance configurator finding the love of your life is easy. Simply browse our selection of Red Tettemer singles below, select the one to your liking and email that person. We sincerely hope that they email you back (although we can’t make any promises).
Long story short, it didn’t happen. According to Matt Vlahos, the Red Tettemer Spinster, this is how it all went down:
“After clearing it with all the layers of her entourage, Louis, dressed as our hero, Shadow, waited in line nearly three hours — and even bought a bottle of Can Can, her perfume. Yet as we neared the podium, Paris’ posse decided Louis (aka, Shadow) was too much of a security risk and made us leave. In fact, as he was trying to climb out from behind the velvet rope, he got caught — and was accused of creating a scene.”
Louis (a.k.a. “Shadow” and adoring Paris fan) is refused by Paris’ entourage
Welcome to a world where facial hair can help cure cancer. No, it’s not some fancy scientific development. It’s the First Annual Red Tettemer Beards to Beat Brain Tumors” to benefit the American Brain Tumor Association .
Here’s how it works. The guys in the photo above are growing beards. They’re not allowed to shave until December 13th. You can sponsor the growth with a daily commitment of any amount of money that you choose. I’m pledging $1 a day. One generous soul is pledging $5 a day.
We’ll post photos of the guys periodically as the beards slowly begin to take over their lives. To be honest some of them are looking down right silly by now. At least they’re past the itchy phase. I hear that’s a bitch.
To pledge contact the super hairy Chris Sembrot at csembrot@redtettemer.com.
1. He has the most dewy, perfect complexion we’ve ever seen on an adult human.
2. Yeah, he really talks like that.
3. His biggest concern is that he will not be able to find work in American Studies post graduation.
4. He hasn’t let all this exposure get to his head.
5. He’s not beyond letting our own Ms. Shenese Stewart school him in the art of club dancing.
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