Hey, “Lost in the Trees.” We get it. We get it. You’re really cool. You’re a team of anti-establishment-yerba mate-drinking types who play a myriad of unusual instruments in the middle of fields. Good job scoring a ginger for a front man, for crying out loud. We all know that gingers have been on the outs since the dawn of man, which means that they’re about to have their hipster heyday anytime now. Oh and let’s not forget. You’re from NORTH CAROLINA. Cool people from the South are SO unassuming and ironic. What we’re dealing with here is a perfect storm for a hit music factory. I likey.

Now THIS is how you market an album. NIN’s once drummer, Josh Freese, is offering a variety of different personal services (none of which are sexual in nature, perv) depending on which level of sponsorship package you purchase with this new record, “Since 1972.”

I’m torn. The $250 package includes a lunch date at PF Changs with Josh, but for the $500 package I can upgrade that experience to an 8.99 “all you can eat” steak dinner at Sizzler with Josh. It really seems worth it.

The packages go up to $75,000. This motherload includes Josh being your personal assistant for a month, taking a Limo to Tijuana with Josh so he can “show you how it’s done,” and Josh writing, recording and actually releasing a 5-song EP about your life story.

Man, I sure do wish Bruce Springsteen would jump on this bandwagon. I’d pony up some big bucks for that fella.

I have a raging friend crush on Lissy Trullie. I also can’t stop listening to anything she puts out.

I’m totally obsessed with Jace Everett. Not only is “Bad Things” the hottest f’ing song that’s ever entered my ear holes; it’s the theme for “True Blood,” the hottest f’ing show on TV.

His whole damned self-titled album is good. Provided you enjoy a little country from time to time.

Oh, and just for funsies, here’s some instruction for the 64-count country line dance inspired by “Bad Things.” I’m willing to bet you can think of a much sexier way to dance to this song. If not, you wouldn’t know sensuality if it bit you on the ass.

The thing about this video is that it will make you want to throw up, but you will automatically feel cooler than everybody else just by watching it.

This will make you feel alive. It may also help you justify all those drugs you did in college. It may also want you to blow off work for a week and travel somewhere exotic. Among other things.

Thanks to Ford for introducing us to Sol Seppy this week. We love. You probably will too.

This is what got the soccer moms going back in ’92.

It’s a CD of slow jam adult contemporary hits (think Billy Ocean) with tracks of Fabio talking seductively about various romantic topics sprinkled in. Here they are for your listening pleasure. Try not to get too turned on.

“Fabio on Romance”
“Fabio on Inner Beauty”
“Fabio on Films”
“Fabio on Tropical Islands”
“Fabio: When Somebody Loves Somebody”
“Fabio: On Humor”
“Fabio on Surprises”
“Fabio on Slow Dancing”
“Fabio: Ciao”

Here’s some more album art, just for funsies.

A special thanks to Jess Wilson for this one.

Questions About This Video:
1. How cute is that little boy up front?
2. “Soulja Boy” really got the people going, didn’t it?
3. Now that white suburban kids are dancing to it in ballet class, can we officially state that the whole “Soulja Boy” craze is over?

4. Would parents let their little ones participate in this dance class if they know what the line “Superman dat ho!” means?
5. Does anyone know what “Superman dat ho!” means?
6. If you do know what “Superman dat ho!” means will you please email me at rtimmerman@redtettemer.com?

Oh Bat for Lashes, you make empathy in monogamous relationships seem oh so drop dead sexy. I wish I were cool enough for my heart to be numb…