Oh this is just great. The US Army is working to develop a little thing they like to call “Synthetic Telepathy.” It’s a technology that reads your thoughts for you and goes ahead and carries out those imagined actions.

As of now they are able to generate emails and voicemails on thought waves alone. The next step is introducing this technology to video games. We’ll all be spontaneously doing things like making out with coworkers or killing annoying strangers in no time!

I think I speak for a lot of Americans when I say that the dead last thing I need is a machine that knows what I’m thinking.

Can you hear this? If so, I am sorry. This is the shrillest, teeth-shattering sound ever. If you can’t hear it you’re old. I’m sorry about that too.

That was a mobile phone ring tone that only kids are supposed to be able to hear. The frequency lives in the higher end of the human audio range, a chunk of the range that our ears stop being able to hear as we age. I don’t consider that a bad thing.

Thanks to wizards at the University of Washington the future is starting to come together exactly the way I hoped that it would…with bionic eyes.

Check out these new cool contact lenses.

Don’t get too excited just yet. While there have been great strides in developing the technology we’re a few years from being able to surf the web when them and stuff. We’re can, however, put them in rabbits and make the coolest-looking robot rabbits ever.

Read this and prepare for your mind to be totally blown.