This is what got the soccer moms going back in ’92.

It’s a CD of slow jam adult contemporary hits (think Billy Ocean) with tracks of Fabio talking seductively about various romantic topics sprinkled in. Here they are for your listening pleasure. Try not to get too turned on.

“Fabio on Romance”
“Fabio on Inner Beauty”
“Fabio on Films”
“Fabio on Tropical Islands”
“Fabio: When Somebody Loves Somebody”
“Fabio: On Humor”
“Fabio on Surprises”
“Fabio on Slow Dancing”
“Fabio: Ciao”

Here’s some more album art, just for funsies.

A special thanks to Jess Wilson for this one.

We here at Red Tettemer would like to congratulate you for being named “2008 Color of the Year” by the Pantone Color Institute. This honor is well deserved.

Says, Leatrice Eiseman, executive director of the Pantone Color Institute, “Blue Iris brings together the dependable aspects of blue, underscored by a strong, soul-searching purple cast. Emotionally, it is anchoring and meditative with a touch of magic.”

We wholeheartedly agree. We also suspect that this Leatrice Eiseman person needs to get out more.

Also, be sure to visit Pantone’s “Colorstrology” site. Here you’ll find YOUR signature color based on your birthday. My color is “Velvet Morning.” Apparently Velvet Morning helps me to channel my innate intensity. I’m supposed to wear it, meditate to it and surround myself with it in order to find the strength to take action and make a difference in the world. Wow. Now it seems like I need to get out more.

My colleague Erin is making it her mission to put an end to the dreaded blazer/jeans combo that most male creatives have been wearing to client meetings since 2004. She has developed a handy brochure that is placed on the desk of wardrobe offenders at Y&R Chicago. Next week her mission will continue at Goodby in San Francisco.

Excerpts from her literature are posted below. You can help her cause by forwarding this post to friends and educating others. If you’re interested in obtaining hard copies of the brochure please email me.

I should note that Erin did visit the Red Tettemer offices only to report that our male creatives are well-dressed and were not in need of continued wardrobe enlightenment. She also added that Staci Katz, a female art director here at RT, was one of the best-dressed female creatives she’s ever seen.

Cold tootsies this winter? Go to NetGranny for all your custom knitted sock needs. The site hires 20-or-so surrogate Swiss grandmothers to do your knitting. Simply go to the site, pick “the granny of your desire” (I know, kind of creepy), pay with your “kredit” card and your custom socks will be on your paws in about two weeks.

I would totally buy a pair, but something about this feels a little “mail order bride”-ish to me.

Knitters are taking their talent to the streets as graffiti art. This might be the cutest thing I’ve ever seen a crafty human do. Effing delightful!

Subway turnstyles get cozies

Trashcans get cozies

Statues get sweaters

Trees get cozies

If you don’t stop running that McNuggets beat box spot I’m going to have to hurt somebody.

Best ecard site ever. www.someecards.com.

Some favorites…

What does the picture below look like to you?

If your answer was, “a baggie of crack, cocaine or heroin” that would be a good guess.

But you would be wrong.

This is actually the new packaging for Hershey’s Ice Breakers Gum!

See?

Now look at these objects side by side. They even managed to get the color right!

Needless to say some folks over at Hershey are in big trouble. Clients, this is why it’s important to pass packing designs by your ad agency.

Putting together those donut shop business plans in 2008? You should probably take a few leads from these people.

This is literally the hottest pastry brand I’ve ever encountered. As if making little human-shaped donuts that oozed red jelly when cut open weren’t enough, they perform weddings at the shop and host Swahili lessons on Monday nights.

Awesome.

Here’s a fun piece on the place. Eat your heart out, Krispy Kreme.

According to Iconoculture, more and more Americans are committing Pseudocide….or faking their own deaths. Should your life go to shit this might be a good idea (provided that you could manage to live with the nagging guilt of your friends and loved ones morning your untimely demise every waking day for the rest of your estranged existence).

Thankfully there’s an instructional book to help you navigate your pseudocidal journey. It’s called “How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found.” I just bought a copy on Amazon. Mostly to keep in an obvious location in my office and freak out observant people, but also because I guess you just never know when you might need a solid back up plan.