Most of us are painfully aware that the award season is upon us. This is an excruciating time of year for people like me, the non-creative. I may not be one of those fancy art directors or witty copywriters, but I do work relentlessly and passionately for my agency’s clients and the good of their businesses. You’d think the gratification for a job well done would be enough to satisfy me, but it’s not. This time of year I find myself lusting after Lions and the like.

Given all of this you can imagine my delight when a friend sent me this link. This year the Radio Advertising Bureau is on my side. They’ve set up a virtual recording studio where I can create my very own :30 spot. The best part is this. The best, funniest, most inventive spot created will win a FOR REAL IN REAL LIFE RADIO MERCURY AWARD!

Oh, I’m on it.

Thanks, Radio Advertising Bureau. Sure, we all know the reason you’re doing this is because it’s been a steady march to the grave since “Real American Heroes” circa 2002, but that’s beside the point. The point is you’ve managed to figure out that you need to give non-creatives some time in the sun. Media planners in particular. We all know they’re the only ones who can save you now.

This brings me joy.

Way to keep the romance alive. You amaze me. After all these years I still want to have your little rainbow-colored fruit tasty baby.

This will make you feel alive. It may also help you justify all those drugs you did in college. It may also want you to blow off work for a week and travel somewhere exotic. Among other things.

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

Exhibit C:

Customer review:

“The best thing about this product is that it teaches kids about the realities of living in a high-surveillance society. My son said he wants the Playmobil Neighborhood Surveillance System set for Christmas. I’ve heard that the CC TV cameras on that thing are pretty worthless in terms of quality and motion detection, so I think I’ll get him the Playmobil Abu-Gharib Interrogation Set instead (it comes with a cute little memo from George Bush).”

Thanks for sending, Jeff.

You should totally read SPUR more often. Why? Because we’re not like these guys or these guys.

These people have some nerve! What gives them the right to candidly moderate campaigns and proliferate agency happenings?! We hope these so-called “blogs of death” never write about us and potentially cause hundreds upon hundreds of ad industry folks a reason to talk about us and/ or visit our web site. That would REALLY suck.

Feeling the urge to stick it to Cheetos for running with this annoying “Orange Underground” campaign? Now you can! Here’s what you’ll need.

1) A heaping amount of distain for those “corporate a-holes” at Frito Lay
2) Lots of time on your hands
3) Little to no shame
4) 155 bags of Cheetos
5) A video camera
6) Narcotics (optional)

You can expect to end up with a variation of this.

Personally, I think it’s a rather artistic interpretation on corporate commercialization and the American culture. Although, I can’t confidently say that this was intentional. At the end of the day I think someone out there just wanted to make out with a giant Cheeto.

Look what happens to poor Jon when you remove Garfield from the “Garfield” comics.

Not surprising for a cat owner, but definitely funny. Here are others.