HBO blows my mind. How is it possible that they continue to addict me to shows based on topics that I care nothing about?

Most recently, John Adams. I can’t stop watching this series. I think about it all the time. I talk about it with my friends. I’m a member of the fan group on Facebook. I have a raging crush on Thomas Jefferson. I’m devastated that there are only two episodes left.

Before John Adams I (somewhat embarrassingly admit that) I couldn’t find it within myself to give two shits about American History. Now I find myself desperately wishing that our founding fathers could follow me around for just a day. I would gleefully show them the fruits of their plight from the wonders of the Internet to the miracle of flight and space travel. Oh, I can only hope that their spirits consciously linger in our modern world of wonder!

(I don’t even know myself anymore.)

At any rate, here are some other boring topics that HBO made me care about.

Polygamist Mormons: One hardware store owner with 3 dowdy wives. Yawn. Somehow I can’t manage to look away.

Old Jewish Guys: Sure they’re cute and wonderful, but I never knew they could make me laugh this much!

Hot Guys Living the Dream in LA: Ok, this one is actually the opposite of boring. Never mind.

Ever hear of an affliction called, “Colony Collapse Disorder?” It’s when bees die at an alarming rate due to mites, poor nutrition and/ or environmental imbalances.

Yeah, at first blush I didn’t care either. I hate bees.

THEN I found out that without bees Haagen-Daz will no longer be able to produce my favorite flavor of ice-cream, Strawberry Cheesecake. In fact, without bee pollen HD will have to cease production on 40% of its flavors. So there’s a chance your favorite is in danger too.

Calm down. Haagen-Daz has a solution. They’ve launched a limited-edition flavor called Vanilla Honey Bee in tandem with the website HelptheHoneyBees.com. Proceeds from sales of it and other bee-dependent flavors will go toward researching CCD and sustainable pollination at Penn State University and the University of California, Davis.

So you can rest easy. The bees should be fine. Sure, this is a nice website and I’m sure that new ice-cream tastes just great. I just can’t help but think that this is a relatively sterile campaign for a bee-saving plight. Think of all the fun we could have had with staged “Save the Bees” protests and a proposed bill to do away with bee-killing instruments like fly swatters and rolled up newspapers.