I’m totally obsessed with Jace Everett. Not only is “Bad Things” the hottest f’ing song that’s ever entered my ear holes; it’s the theme for “True Blood,” the hottest f’ing show on TV.

His whole damned self-titled album is good. Provided you enjoy a little country from time to time.

Oh, and just for funsies, here’s some instruction for the 64-count country line dance inspired by “Bad Things.” I’m willing to bet you can think of a much sexier way to dance to this song. If not, you wouldn’t know sensuality if it bit you on the ass.

If I ran into this freakish thing on the street I’d probably run away as fast as possible. It’s a bus shelter equipped with a hidden motion sensor that assaults unsuspecting pedestrians with pterodactyl-like screams of Japanese teens and blinding flashbulb lights. It’s for a Swedish TV show called “Big In Japan,” but that hardly matters.

The only thing fathomably worse than this would be a bus shelter that mugs people and takes all their money. Oh, maybe “CSI” should look into that.

Every time I see this spot I can’t help but think about the people that made it, but not as their current adult selves. I like to think of them as children. I imagine their teacher asking them what they want to be when they grow up and can only assume their doe-eyed response would be this:

“I want be an embarrassment to my family and shame the legacy of my name forever.”

These spots are beyond disgraceful. They’re unfathomably disgusting. For the love of God it’s a commercial about dingleberries. DINGLEBERRIES!

Classic Win/Win.

Ah, yes. The dreaded “Bread Face.” We’re definitely going to want to avoid that.

Guess who’s in therapy?

So, tell us about this boyfriend of yours. Underage? Felony? I’m all ears.

The thing about this video is that it will make you want to throw up, but you will automatically feel cooler than everybody else just by watching it.

Gymnasts scare the shit out of me.